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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28807710">instead of wondering why, i wanna know the answers</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleBirdMan/pseuds/LittleBirdMan'>LittleBirdMan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>half life but the ai is self aware</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Rated Teen for swears, and then i gave myself the answer tadaaa, he/they darnold rights okay?, i looked at myself and said hey. why did darnold not leave, introspective of sorts, local scientist does not want to deal with all of this but its fine, no beta-reader we die like half life scientists, the others are sort of here but dont worry about it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:21:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,322</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28807710</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleBirdMan/pseuds/LittleBirdMan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Darnold is a man who likes to take opportunities when they present themselves.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>instead of wondering why, i wanna know the answers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>howdy again! i didnt expect to have something else out so soon, but. here we are! i am absolutely delighted by darnold's character, and i've wanted to write something for him for a looong while now. i hope you enjoy my little ramblings!</p>
<p>title is taken from runaway by linkin park. :]</p>
<p>also i would apologize about so many of my takes being characters not being cis. i would, but i wont! &lt;3</p>
<p>dedicated to my friend mothrey, who is a moth of taste and also enjoys one doctor darnold pepper</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>A lot of things that happened in their life were things that they’d not exactly planned for. One could say that Darnold was doing the equivalent of drifting through life on the world’s oddest racetrack. This isn’t to say that they lacked agency, but if an opportunity came up that he was interested in, then by god, they were going to take it. That’s why he seemed to have accrued an odd amount of crafting hobbies, an absurd amount of games on Steam, and maybe a few too many garden gnomes. Well, no that last one was a lie. You can never have too many garden gnomes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darnold just had a thing for bits and baubs at this rate. It didn’t count as clutter, thank you very much. Each thrifted item had it’s place, and if asked, Darnold could tell you exactly where they’d gotten it and what was going through their mind at the time. Each piece had a story. Ah, but that’s… Perhaps a bit off topic, isn’t it? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He just went with the flow of things, really. If somethings happening, well, it’s already happened, so they would get too caught up with it. Sure, they could get frustrated if it interrupted what they were already working on or doing, but they could adjust as needed. So long as they were able to finish their work, well, they could deal. You don’t just end up as the head of the defunct Black Mesa’s mixology department for nothing! It’s not an easy thing to do things that others think might sound silly, like Evil Powerade, or something that tastes like a color. Darnold simply knew what they were doing. They didn’t just get to where they were for no reason.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Darnold had started at Black Mesa, it was really because it was convenient and his college had a program that helped set students up there. Besides, it wasn’t like it was a secret that Black Mesa did some… Odd, things. Well, Darnold was odd, and the curiosity towards what exactly they were doing in the middle of nowhere certainly helped them make their decision. They’d even used some of the money from their first paycheck to finalize the name change. Sure, the other scientists were a little peeved that they had to refer to him as Dr. Pepper, but Darnold wasn’t one to just leave the joke undone. Again, an opportunity presented itself, and who was he to deny it?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’d started out working with robots at first - he’d always been quite good at putting things together, after all! - but after being tasked with the ‘impossible’ task to get a good fuel for them, the higher ups had started to notice him. Oh, you wanted a power liquid that made them run better, faster, stronger (literally their words, not Darnold’s) and could also be used as something that was safe to drink? A weird request, certainly, and probably one meant to force the department to let certain people from the robotics department go, but Darnold wasn’t one to back down from such a blatant challenge. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It even tasted good! Cherry-coke in spirit, with a hint of purple. Their first potion, and it was a complete success.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After that, they started (they being the Higher Ups, whoever the hell that might be) sending more and more ridiculous requests to Darnold specifically. Who was, mind you, still working with the machines. This was not what they were being paid for, and they also weren’t being paid any extra when the requests come in, so Darnold did what anybody would do. They wrote a very strongly worded e-mail to the administrator.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And, what a weird thing. About a month of sending similarly written e-mails every other day (written not by Darnold but set up through a code that they </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> build), seems the guy got a clue and got Darnold set up in the mixology department. Which was just Darnold. Which made him the head of the department - with a shiny little pay upgrade - and the one who could also just test as he saw fit. It was more than he was used to, but he could figure it out given time. So long as he got to fuck around without too much of a fuss, then it wasn’t really his business what was going on.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He got acquainted with the people he did end up sharing a hall with - the cybernetics department. One fella who kept popping up was one Harold Coomer. Or, well. Darnold hoped it was the same Coomer. There were a lot of clones and prototypes of two specific scientists (which. Uh. Why? Darnold was not aware that they did that.) but this one was specifically different. Seemed more metal than man, had his frazzled white hair tied up in a neat ponytail, and had a laugh that echoed throughout the area. And, oddest of all, Coomer actually seemed to notice that Darnold had a department all his own. Everyone tended to be of the mindset that if it didn’t involve them, then they would just leave it be, not say anything. But Coomer would ask him how things were going with the mixes, if he got lonely there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darnold, having been the sort of person who had gotten used to everyone’s complacency, almost jumped when the man talked to him. He’d made some kind of joke about it going about as well as one would think, and talked a little about a project that he was working on personally. Coomer was delighted by this, which was also odd. Most the other scientists didn’t really care about what was going on outside of their department- … Then again, Darnold wasn’t entirely convinced that this specific Coomer had a specific department. He could swear that he’d seen him around just about everywhere.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But anyways, Darnold and Coomer were friends. Darnold hadn’t really made friends here, not like. Actual friends. But Coomer caught onto his jokes, and actually took what he did seriously. And Coomer. Well. While he wasn’t sure if Coomer was a human, he was a man of good humor and would just say shit, just out of nowhere. And it killed them, every single time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As time went on, Darnold realized he’d not really been visited by supervisors in a while. He was making quality things, doing some projects on the side because he simply could, and it was. Just him there. So he brought a few things with him to work. Some of those bits and baubs, like little figures he’d found at The Arc, and may or may not have brought his computer from home. And maybe a little speaker. For legal reasons, he did none of this. (Read: he totally did this.) Made it feel a little better, being the only one there. And, if they needed to think through a process, they could make it out to be them talking to their baubles instead aloud, to themself. Not that there’s anything wrong with talking to yourself, but it was something they were a little self conscious about.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Black Mesa was odd. Darnold went into this job knowing this, and still they would just see shit and each time their thought process was “What?” then “This may as well be happening.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cue the Resonance Cascade. He knew there was something big happening in the anomalous materials department, and that a lot of the systems were being buggy, but that was a long way aways from where Darnold was working, so he’d not been too worried. Then, the whole facility shook, and beyond their door and above they heard gunshots, among other things. Things that weren’t human, certainly. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>And they stood up from their desk and decided, “No, I don’t get paid enough to deal with this.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was clear whatever was going on, if they were to leave their space, they would probably have what the fellows in the cybernetics department would’ve called “a bad fucking time”, so they didn’t leave. That left them with not much to do, so they tinkered. They worked on things that they already had on the docket, and as time passed, they were running out of containers. So, they did the thing anyone else would do and start using the things they had around. Anxious they might be about this whole thing, but stupid they were not. They wouldn’t just leave what they knew to be a safe area because obviously Black Mesa fucked up something, and they weren’t going to get themself hurt because of something simple like not having the right amount or size of containers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Science Team was what they called themselves, and they rode the little elevator that had closed Darnold off from the world down into his lab. Darnold, not expecting visitors and not quite impressed with them messing around with his work, was unsure what to do. But, of course, one of them was injured. One Gordon Freeman, and the man was lucky that they had something just for what he had happen to him. Nanorobots may not have been their specialty, but the drink was LACED with them, and it helped do what it did in a Very Fast fashion. It was all a lot of scientific gabledy gook, but if it worked, then by god it worked. And it helped Gordon, so that’s what counted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darnold had wanted to go with them, truly. It wasn’t like he didn’t know what the guns were - he’d had a few in his crates that he’d been tinkering with (and the Big One, that he’d done just because Coomer’d mentioned it once and he thought ‘what the hell’) - and didn’t know how to handle himself in a situation but.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sight of someone actually dying. That. No. No, he wasn’t interested in that, actually! Thanks! Coomer and a few of the others backed up his decision, so he waved them goodbye, and without thinking too much of it, rocketbooted his way out of his lab. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Which, really, he wasn’t sure why he did that. So, instead of trekking through the facility, he just waited until he stopped hearing the gunshots in his lab and descended back down, making sure to have the elevator in the upwards position when he did. And it was back to ‘business as usual’ in his pseudo-bunker.</span>
  <span></span>
    <br/>
  
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>How he got out of Black Mesa, well. Honestly, truth be told? He had no fucking clue. He’d been working on fixing his rocket boots up a little, and then he was on the floor in a storage closet. Confused, feeling maybe a little sick, but curious, he’d poked his head out of the door. Checkered floor, and beside the door, an open bag. Lo and behold, his bits and baubs! And also his computer! The speaker was missing, sadly, but the other things were much more important to him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Turns out, he was at a Chuck E Cheese. Why? He didn’t know. But a child’s entertainment center and restaurant was leagues better than a scientific facility that had something really bad happen to it. He wasn’t about to turn his nose up at something so fortunate. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That’s where he runs into the Science Team. Again. He’d almost hoped to cut ties with them, considering, well, the everything about their last interaction, but they seemed apologetic enough. Well. Tommy was. Coomer, being Coomer, was not. Bubby also didn’t seem to be, but he didn’t ask. Oh, but Gordon was. Sorry, that is. Darnold supposed it was alright, but he was a little disappointed that the gun arm that his little nanorobots had made was gone. Oh, well. It served its purpose.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darnold, being an intelligent man, decided that he would very much like to wipe his hands clean of whatever had happened at Black Mesa. Thankfully, Tommy’s father knew just what to do. Sure, The Man was a little strange, but he certainly wasn’t the oddest of the bunch here. He helped get Darnold set up with a different company, one overseen by The Man himself, and got himself situated with a different place. Yes, he had already had a house, but the other one was a little too close to Black Mesa for his comfort. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe because he felt bad about it, or because he was just a kind man, Doctor Freeman actually helped Darnold pack. Actually, it was Freeman and Tommy, but Darnold was more surprised to see the frazzled man help. Coomer actually popped by, lifting the heavier things and offering Darnold some peace of mind that someone he actually knew, properly knew, was there to help. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Along with the tide Darnold went, setting himself up in his new place, reorganizing where his baubles went, setting up his Garden Gnome army (which is just as funny to see as it is to say, he promises), and adjusting to the fact that the Science Team kept popping up into his life. Just at random points! Sometimes he’d even get connected with the fella he’d seen who had almost ruined his computer (but had… actually managed to download extra ram and it worked) on TF2 matches. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Things were different, now, without Black Mesa. He couldn’t exactly get away with doing his odd, fucked up potions at his new job, but they didn’t seem to mind if he brought something home to work on them there. So long as they didn’t know, it wasn’t their business.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Along the road he went, and Darnold could say that, yea. Strange as everything was, he couldn’t quite complain with the way it’d turned out. After all, he still had his bits, his baubs, and even a few new friends to boot. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s kinda funny how you can make friends as a result of your job fucking up real bad. But he wouldn’t question it. After all, the opportunity presented itself, and who was he to deny it?</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey there again! i hope you had a fun time reading, and i hope that you have a good day/night! <br/>also, my opinions on the place chuck e cheese are not the same as darnold. i will not say what they are but. here we are.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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